With my 20th HS reunion just a few weeks (?) away, Classmates just informed my I can list my biography for free. So, this seemed like a good way for us MAC fans to know each other a little better:

Quote:After graduating from Shawnee High School, I headed west.  I was hired as a bodyguard Wayne Newton, and after taking a bullet in my right leg I retired with a large insurance payout.
I made and lost several fortunes shooting craps in Las Vegas.  Then I tried my hand as a stunt double for Dennis Farina.
After "Crime Story" ended, my life hit a low point, and I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

I was serving time at the penitentiary in Florence, AZ when I escaped.  After several weeks on the lam, I hid in a VW Bus and migrated to Mexico.

I worked in Mexico for several years, negotiating labor agreements between the government and various trade associations and corporate interests.  These included McDonnel-Douglas, Martin-Marietta, General Dynamics and PetSmart.

Eventually I returned to the US and (after receiving a pardon) was awarded an obscure, but high-ranking, post in the Clinton administration.  This involved frequent travel to Australia and New Zealand to umpire cricket matches.  While there I obtained an interest in a sheep ranch.

I frequently spend winters (southern summers) herding sheep on the ranch east of Whangamomona.  Like everyone else, I do all the touristy things in Lake Taupo.

During my treks to N Zealand I met and married a Maori chieftan's daughter.  We have two children, and my oldest son is the first 5/8th on the junior national rugby team.

Recently, I have become intrigued with the advances in genetics, and I am now involved in research in this field.  I have authored two books on the subject, and our recent experiments look promising to eliminate male-pattern baldness and recurring accubation.

well the guy has a better resume than dubya at least........

Reminds me of this college application essay that made the rounds on the internet about five years ago. According to 'net lore, the kid who wrote this did get into NYU.

Quote:IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:

ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the areas of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently.

Occasionally, I treated water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and god like trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am as expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a ghow and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400.

My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.

I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin.

I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.

DevilGrad Wrote:Reminds me of this college application essay that made the rounds on the internet about five years ago. According to 'net lore, the kid who wrote this did get into NYU.

Yeah, no doubt that was an influence.

But, it's older than 5 years. I'm pretty sure I read it while in grad school.

DrTorch Wrote:I frequently spend winters (southern summers) herding sheep on the ranch just west of Rotorura.  And I do all the touristy things in Lake Taupo.

You know what' s funny - I have actually been to Rotorura and Lake Taupo. Seriously. Though it was a loooooooong time ago.

4575 Wrote:

DrTorch Wrote:I frequently spend winters (southern summers) herding sheep on the ranch just west of Rotorura.  And I do all the touristy things in Lake Taupo.

You know what' s funny - I have actually been to Rotorura and Lake Taupo. Seriously. Though it was a loooooooong time ago.

Me too. Although there are funnier names in N. Zealand. It could use some work.

How appropriate that after several weeks on the lam you would end up on a sheep ranch.

Quote:But, it's older than 5 years. I'm pretty sure I read it while in grad school.

Yeah. I think it's a little older than five years, too. And many college admissions offices are *still* seeing that one come across their desks, courtesy of some plug-dumb applicants, at a rate of four or five per year.

Isn't that O'Leary's resume?

Stick4489 Wrote:Isn't that O'Leary's resume?

yes.......not quite as good when he couldn't lie on it.