<a href='http://sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf' target='_blank'>http://sherm.20megsfree.com/burgerking.swf</a>

quite possibly the funniest thing I have ever witnessed swag! perfect! :D

Good Gawd, I couldn't quit laughing when I saw that. That is friggin' hi-larious!!!

how about a burger dude??
love it, wish I could find good leads on stuff like this!

That was soooooooo funny. And to top it off, Southern Miss got their arse handed to them last night by TCU...

Sadly, Goldbird determined that he couldn't just continue to exist off the trash bin at Burger King. He needed money to survive. He needed a job. A job he hadn't had for two months since the DOT had figured out he was posting on a sports board during company time.

"What's your name, son?"

"Bird. Gold Bird."

"Do you have any experience in customer service?"

"Two weeks at Backyard Burgers should count for something."

"Why'd you leave there?"

"Got in a fight with the manager after Southern lost to Alabama."

"Funny, you don't look like the typical student at a historically black college."

"Well, there's more to the book than appears to the first glance, sir. I have my edumacation from there."

"Show up Monday at 4 a.m. Here's a pair of pants, a shirt and a visor. Be sure to wash them before you report."

"Yessir. Umm, where'd you say you went to school?"

"I graduated from LSU with my Ph.D in business management."

"Dude, no wonder you're banking. If I master the fry station, could I possibly move up to head fry guy?"

"We'll see, Goldie. We can use all the good people we can find."

"Thank you, sir. Thank you for this chance. Say, any way I could get a milkshake for free?"

"Sure. Talk to Hamburglar in the back. He'll fix you right up."

As he trudged down High Street back home to his box under I-55, his radiant toothless smile lit up the entire Pearl River delta. Gainful employment had found him again, if only for a while.

Suddenly, a Mercedes flying Dixie flags and boasting an Ole Miss tag sprayed a puddle all over him on the shoulder.

"You drunken gay boy BASTARDS!" he raged. "I'll get you! I swear to all I know I will!"

Mr. Reality had his secretary stop what she was doing to roll down the window. Goldbird saw the man in the back flip him the bird and he began to mew as a single tear traced its way down his mud-splashed face.

"Bastards!" he muttered. "Sick jerks!"

Hey Swag - nice try but the "jig" is up. I know you faked this whole thing.

1. Golden Turd can't sing that good.
2. He has a worse acne problem.
3. His neck and sholders are not nearly as manly as this impostor. :D



I really enjoyed that! Let us know when you discover the mysterious Peanut.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Reality!

Looks like somebody forwarded that Maxlife ad to him, Malfunction! :D

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couldn't resist, O! fearless leader. Please do not admonish me spitefully! Have mercy on thy subjects, O! magnanimous ruler! O! Princess! O! Thurston III!

I have done seen the error of Dave's ways! :wave:

You can't call him peanuts anymore, not as long as he has Mexican jumping beans for a crotch!! :crying: :eek:

We can still call him Peanut. He has just rigged up the pork tenderloin he plans to serve next week to make it look like he is a "real" man.


Hans Christian Borden, I really enjoyed the story of 'Golden Turd'. Do you think it may become a series?

There are so many possibilities. You can do like Charles Shultz and have a different story for each season, holiday, etc.

"You're a Good Bus Boy Golden Turd." "Golden Turd in the Great Pumkin Patch", "T'was the Night Before I Molted", "Swiss Family Golden Turd", or a series...."Return of the Jedi Turd", "Turd Wars" "The Spy Turd That Screwed My Order".

Man, those are some big damn jumping beans, Georgie! Aye caramba!


Love the pork tenderloin jab, Still. I'm sure all his lackeys think he's really packing!

He's packing, all right. Grade A pork tenderloin for one chump er rump of a guy. :D


As to the series installment, it SHALL be a new feature of this board. We dub thee:

"Goldbird: a Story of the Homeless in America"

Stay tuned for the next installment, sports fans. Same Gold Time; same gold channel.

That's two in one day, JBR.

Tell us, Rx, is this the famous Coach Peanut -- exposed?

LMAO!

It is good to see that you all remember the Eagles. Everyone in the State of Mississippi are Eagle fans. It is good to be back. I know everyone missed the Hamburglar!! LOL!! And no, I am not going to give free fries with those hamburgers. What are you pigs!! LOL!! Anyway, I see that the Tide and Razorbacks ripped you all a new one. Please dont mention the TCU game. We were cheated by bad officiating and poor field conditions. However, we will boune back win the CUSA crown. Hell, if only we could play you guys in a bowl. I dont think Cutcliffe wants that.


I knew everyone missed me, so I had to make a comeback. I cant argue with you guys alone since Golbird has been banished; but I'll try. Oh, I have a question for my Einstein friends from Ole Miss. If I'm hamburglar, who is Grimace, Ronald McDonald and the rest of the crew.


GO EAGLES!!! BEST FOOTBALL RECORD IN THE STATE OF MISSISSIPPI!!



<!--EDIT|hamburglar|Nov 1 2002, 03:55 AM-->

Would someone mind telling me who this tool is? Seems like such a delusional little fellow.

You ever thought about "bouneing" back to your English 101 class for a refresher? Or is that darn high school typing teacher to blame?

Speel cheek. Look it up on your "Help" menu.

But, yeah, Hamburglar, you have made an indelible impression on the Ole Miss Nation. One of two schmucks in America who still show up to the Bob for your chicken heads. Oooh rah!

And the only one still employed at the MDOT, right?

Top of the dung heap is nothing to crow about, Sparky.

Um, nevermind. Y'all can't even make it to the top of the CUSSUCKASS. That would be TCU, right?

Oh, thank you for the english lesson, JBR. You are such a great person. LOL!!! Did I not predict that Ole Miss would go 6-6 months ago. Admit it, I was right!! That is nothing new by the way. CUSA is a good, competitive conference. If you are so confident in the SEC, play CUSA teams then. MSU is the only school in the conference that plays CUSA teams on a continious basis. They play Memphis and has Houston on the schedule for next year. What about Ole Miss? Tulane started winning games against you all and look what happened. They were taken off your schedule. How typical. Also, Ole Miss backed out of a game against Troy St. What is up with that? Are you that afraid of Troy St? Look on the bright side, in a few years you can schedule South Alabama. :D

However, I dont feel like bashing Ole Miss. I have done that enough over the summer and made believers out of you all. Hey, JBR, where is the rest of the gang? Are you the only one at the table? I hope you leave big tips. LOL!