Quote:FOURSCORE and seven years ago, our fathers — and also, our mothers. I love mothers, too, because we need our mothers — brought forth on this continent a huge nation, a great, amazing country dedicated to the proposition that we can beat any weak losers who are bad, bad guys and totally overrated, believe me. Now, it just so happens we are in a horrible, stupid war. They’re killing us. Just killing us. I would sue for peace, because when I sue I never settle, but if it had been up to me we never would have been here to begin with. I would have negotiated, and I wouldn’t have risked the country over a few slaves, who some of them might be good people — I had some nice African-American ladies working for me, and they were very dependable ladies — but it’s dumb to risk the whole country for political correctness. It really is. The blacks love me, by the way. Frederick Douglass has been to my house. So, here we are in front of you beautiful people of Gettysburg, and you are a very good-looking group of people. You know, I went to business school near here so I know Pennsylvania, believe me. I love the people of Gettysburg, and I can tell you are embarrassed about what our country has become. Do you see these Amish people buggying around with their very unattractive women in their sad outfits? Please, who would even date these women? Those bearded fanatics haven’t even bothered to learn English, and they’re taking your cow-milking jobs. It’s sad. It’s sick. It really is. And I know you are angry. I’m angry, too, because I love this country and I can make it great again. And here, they tell me, this is some great battlefield of the war, and by the way, I know everything about fields and this could be a terrific, world-class 27-hole golf resort: about 7,300 yards from the gold championship tees and a beautiful hotel, and not some cemetery for so-called heroes. Heroes don’t get killed. Heroes win. Then they kill the families of the losers. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Maybe a casino, too. So, why dedicate? Why consecrate? Why hallow this ground? Only a very stupid person would consecrate it. What we need to do is rezone it. “Agriculture”? Are you kidding me? This is a gold mine, and we’re sitting here on folding chairs looking at gravestones? It’s disgusting. Unfortunately, the suckers died in vain, which never would have happened if matters were in my hands. My attractive, normal-size hands. Look at them … is there anything wrong with these hands? You bet there isn’t. And if someone next to you maybe disagrees — some sick, sad person — and I’m not saying what to do, but I’d certainly understand if some of my people who are looked down on by those people would seek out some of those people and decide that — who knows? — they should perish from the earth.

(03-31-2016 07:39 PM)HarmonOliphantOberlanderDevine Wrote:  Obama's version would mention 57 states and read off a hidden blackboard.

(03-31-2016 07:43 PM)olliebaba Wrote:  You're right. They're both pathetic.

(04-02-2016 01:20 AM)JMUDunk Wrote:  Moderately chuckle worthy.

When does this snark have his parody of the Bern or Canks indictment of everything that made this the best, most opportunistic, most generous, and easily most integrated Country in the history of the world come out?

Please post that too, if you would.

(03-31-2016 06:28 PM)Fort Bend Owl Wrote:  This was written by NPR's Bob Garfield and was in the op-ed section of the New York Times. Pretty funny stuff.

Quote:FOURSCORE and seven years ago, our fathers — and also, our mothers. I love mothers, too, because we need our mothers — brought forth on this continent a huge nation, a great, amazing country dedicated to the proposition that we can beat any weak losers who are bad, bad guys and totally overrated, believe me. Now, it just so happens we are in a horrible, stupid war. They’re killing us. Just killing us. I would sue for peace, because when I sue I never settle, but if it had been up to me we never would have been here to begin with. I would have negotiated, and I wouldn’t have risked the country over a few slaves, who some of them might be good people — I had some nice African-American ladies working for me, and they were very dependable ladies — but it’s dumb to risk the whole country for political correctness. It really is. The blacks love me, by the way. Frederick Douglass has been to my house. So, here we are in front of you beautiful people of Gettysburg, and you are a very good-looking group of people. You know, I went to business school near here so I know Pennsylvania, believe me. I love the people of Gettysburg, and I can tell you are embarrassed about what our country has become. Do you see these Amish people buggying around with their very unattractive women in their sad outfits? Please, who would even date these women? Those bearded fanatics haven’t even bothered to learn English, and they’re taking your cow-milking jobs. It’s sad. It’s sick. It really is. And I know you are angry. I’m angry, too, because I love this country and I can make it great again. And here, they tell me, this is some great battlefield of the war, and by the way, I know everything about fields and this could be a terrific, world-class 27-hole golf resort: about 7,300 yards from the gold championship tees and a beautiful hotel, and not some cemetery for so-called heroes. Heroes don’t get killed. Heroes win. Then they kill the families of the losers. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Maybe a casino, too. So, why dedicate? Why consecrate? Why hallow this ground? Only a very stupid person would consecrate it. What we need to do is rezone it. “Agriculture”? Are you kidding me? This is a gold mine, and we’re sitting here on folding chairs looking at gravestones? It’s disgusting. Unfortunately, the suckers died in vain, which never would have happened if matters were in my hands. My attractive, normal-size hands. Look at them … is there anything wrong with these hands? You bet there isn’t. And if someone next to you maybe disagrees — some sick, sad person — and I’m not saying what to do, but I’d certainly understand if some of my people who are looked down on by those people would seek out some of those people and decide that — who knows? — they should perish from the earth.

(04-02-2016 10:45 AM)Crebman Wrote:  It is funny.

The only bothersome thing is we have a media that is full-on working on influencing the outcome and no longer even tries to provide any balance to what they put out. They pretend to be "the neutral media" when they are anything but...........

At least it they changed the name of their publication to "The New York Socialist Times" and presented their op ed as "opinion provided by blah, blah of National Public Communist Radio" they'd have a semblance of truth in advertising...

(04-02-2016 10:35 AM)Bull_In_Exile Wrote:  Hillary's would include some barking.

(03-31-2016 06:28 PM)Fort Bend Owl Wrote:  This was written by NPR's Bob Garfield and was in the op-ed section of the New York Times. Pretty funny stuff.

Quote:FOURSCORE and seven years ago, our fathers — and also, our mothers. I love mothers, too, because we need our mothers — brought forth on this continent a huge nation, a great, amazing country dedicated to the proposition that we can beat any weak losers who are bad, bad guys and totally overrated, believe me. Now, it just so happens we are in a horrible, stupid war. They’re killing us. Just killing us. I would sue for peace, because when I sue I never settle, but if it had been up to me we never would have been here to begin with. I would have negotiated, and I wouldn’t have risked the country over a few slaves, who some of them might be good people — I had some nice African-American ladies working for me, and they were very dependable ladies — but it’s dumb to risk the whole country for political correctness. It really is. The blacks love me, by the way. Frederick Douglass has been to my house. So, here we are in front of you beautiful people of Gettysburg, and you are a very good-looking group of people. You know, I went to business school near here so I know Pennsylvania, believe me. I love the people of Gettysburg, and I can tell you are embarrassed about what our country has become. Do you see these Amish people buggying around with their very unattractive women in their sad outfits? Please, who would even date these women? Those bearded fanatics haven’t even bothered to learn English, and they’re taking your cow-milking jobs. It’s sad. It’s sick. It really is. And I know you are angry. I’m angry, too, because I love this country and I can make it great again. And here, they tell me, this is some great battlefield of the war, and by the way, I know everything about fields and this could be a terrific, world-class 27-hole golf resort: about 7,300 yards from the gold championship tees and a beautiful hotel, and not some cemetery for so-called heroes. Heroes don’t get killed. Heroes win. Then they kill the families of the losers. It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Maybe a casino, too. So, why dedicate? Why consecrate? Why hallow this ground? Only a very stupid person would consecrate it. What we need to do is rezone it. “Agriculture”? Are you kidding me? This is a gold mine, and we’re sitting here on folding chairs looking at gravestones? It’s disgusting. Unfortunately, the suckers died in vain, which never would have happened if matters were in my hands. My attractive, normal-size hands. Look at them … is there anything wrong with these hands? You bet there isn’t. And if someone next to you maybe disagrees — some sick, sad person — and I’m not saying what to do, but I’d certainly understand if some of my people who are looked down on by those people would seek out some of those people and decide that — who knows? — they should perish from the earth.

(04-02-2016 10:45 AM)Crebman Wrote:  It is funny.

The only bothersome thing is we have a media that is full-on working on influencing the outcome and no longer even tries to provide any balance to what they put out. They pretend to be "the neutral media" when they are anything but...........

At least if they changed the name of their publication to "The New York Socialist Times" and presented their op ed as "opinion provided by blah, blah of National Public Communist Radio" they'd have a semblance of truth in advertising...